"Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." — Mark 10:9

You've said yes to forever. The ring is on your finger, the venue is booked, and excitement fills the air. But amid the wedding planning, have you thought about marriage planning? While choosing flowers and cake flavors is fun, the real work of building a lasting relationship requires intentionality, honest conversation, and preparation. Premarital counseling isn't about fixing problems—it's about preventing them and creating a strong foundation before you say "I do."

The Challenge: Many Couples Enter Marriage Unprepared

Despite the best intentions, many couples enter marriage without fully understanding what it takes to build a healthy, lasting partnership. According to Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, most couples spend more time planning their wedding than preparing for their marriage (Parrott & Parrott, 2015). Without addressing expectations around finances, conflict resolution, intimacy, family dynamics, and personal values, couples can find themselves blindsided by challenges they didn't see coming.

Unspoken assumptions about roles, communication styles, and life goals can create misunderstandings and disappointment. Research shows that couples who participate in premarital counseling report higher levels of marital satisfaction and are 30% less likely to divorce than those who don't (Stanley, Amato, Johnson, & Markman, 2006). The investment you make before marriage can shape the quality of your relationship for years to come.

The Solution: Premarital Counseling Creates a Roadmap for Success

Premarital counseling provides engaged couples with the tools, insights, and skills they need to navigate the journey ahead. At Bareiter Counseling Center in Charlotte, our licensed therapists work with couples to explore important topics such as communication patterns, conflict resolution, financial planning, family expectations, intimacy, and shared values. Rather than waiting for problems to arise, premarital counseling equips couples to build healthy habits from the start.

Using evidence-based approaches and resources like the Parrots' Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts workbook, our counselors help couples identify potential areas of growth, understand each other's backgrounds and attachment styles, and create a shared vision for their future together.

Application

Reflection Prompt: What are your biggest hopes and fears about marriage? Have you shared these openly with your partner?

Gentle Practice: This week, set aside time to discuss one topic you've been avoiding—whether it's money, in-laws, or how you'll handle conflict. Approach the conversation with curiosity rather than judgment.

Spiritual Anchor: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." — 1 Corinthians 13:4

What Happens in Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counseling is a proactive, collaborative process designed to strengthen your relationship before challenges arise. The Parrotts emphasize that successful marriages are built on self-awareness, realistic expectations, and effective communication (Parrott & Parrott, 2015). Sessions typically focus on helping couples understand themselves and each other more deeply.

What Topics Are Covered in Premarital Counseling?

In premarital counseling at Bareiter Counseling Center, couples can expect to explore:

1. Communication and conflict resolution — Learning how to express needs, listen actively, and navigate disagreements without damaging the relationship.
2. Financial goals and values — Discussing money management, spending habits, debt, and how to make financial decisions together.
3. Family backgrounds and expectations — Understanding how your upbringing shapes your view of marriage, parenting, and relationships.
4. Intimacy and connection — Addressing physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy and how to maintain closeness over time.
5. Shared vision and values — Identifying common goals, discussing roles and responsibilities, and creating a roadmap for your life together.
6. Potential challenges — Preparing for stressors like career changes, parenting, health issues, and how to support each other through difficult seasons.

The benefit of premarital counseling is clear: couples gain clarity, build trust, and enter marriage with confidence. Rather than hoping things will work out, you'll have the tools and understanding needed to create a resilient, joyful partnership.

Investing in Your Future Together

Just as the verse from Mark reminds us, what God joins together is meant to last. Premarital counseling isn't a sign that something is wrong—it's a sign that you're committed to doing things right. By investing in your relationship now, you're setting the stage for a lifetime of growth, connection, and love.

If you're engaged and want to build a strong foundation for your marriage, the counselors at Bareiter Counseling Center in Charlotte are here to help. Our premarital counseling services provide the support and guidance you need to start your marriage with confidence and clarity. Call us today at 704-334-0524 or visit our website at https://www.bareitercc.com/marriage-counseling-and-couples-therapy to learn more about our premarital and couples counseling and to schedule your first session.

References:

Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. (2015). Saving your marriage before it starts: Seven questions to ask before—and after—you marry. Zondervan.

Stanley, S. M., Amato, P. R., Johnson, C. A., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Premarital education, marital quality, and marital stability: Findings from a large, random household survey. Journal of Family Psychology, 20(1), 117-126.